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George W. Bush

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[04 Sep 2005|02:56pm]
Dear America,

Please donate to the Red Cross. I think they're doing something about the stranded white folks in New Orleans. Those poor Americans trapped in that hotel without water.

Apparently there's a few other people stuck down there, but they probably didn't vote for me so I'm not too concerned about it. More when I have time.

-George
9 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[25 Jul 2003|10:56am]
Dear America,

I am only what you made me. Young, black, and fucking crazy! No, I'm just kidding, I've been listening to too much Shyne lately.

Anyways, it's been a while since I posted in this here livejournal thing. As for all the politics and stuff that's going on, can we not think about that for just once? I've got people in my face all day asking me stupid questions like, "Mr. President, what are you going to do about election season?" or "Mr. President, would you like that in red or blue?"

It's also been a while since I announced free ice cream day so, July 25th is Free Ice Cream day. Feel free to raid your local convenience store for Choco Tacos and Firecracker Popsicles. My personal favorite is banana creme pie.

-George
62 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[28 Apr 2002|11:50am]
Dear America,

True, it has been a while since I've updated but I have been extremely busy with my job. I've spent alot of time trying to beat my high score on Solitare on my intern's computer. She's a nice young lady, wears very tight clothes too.

The other day Janet Reno tried to put the moves on me but I said no way. I'm not letting any transvestite stick their hoo-ha in my anus.

As for the September 11th issue, that my lawyers and secretaries have been writing endless speeches for me about, I'd just like to say that we'd be better off nuking that son of bitch Osama. They told me that since we don't know his exact whereabouts that we can't exactly do that. I say we just bomb the fuck out of Europe and the Middle East. That way we're bound to get him. Who cares about all those people, they aren't citizens of MY country so I don't really give two shits if they like me anyways.

Not much else to report. Have a good afternoon.

-George
44 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[11 Aug 2001|01:46pm]
Dear America,
This being the second day in a row that I am updating, I am writing this entry for the mere explanation that I have added all of you to my friend list. Are you satisfied?

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
50 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[11 Aug 2001|01:59am]
How come Jesus gets more comments then me. I'm your fricking president, I deserve more then just ten comments every post. DAMN YOU AMERICANS.
23 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[11 Aug 2001|01:57am]
Dear America,
It has come to my attention that society has been falling apart. Someone has brought to my attention that I have a problem with my body odor. Others would say that I just smell unique. It's interesting because I always thought it was everyone else that smelled so awkward.

I have a craving for a young intern. I must escape to the Oval Office now. That is all.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
2 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[29 Jul 2001|11:04pm]
I'm hiding! Woo I bet she won't find me!
15 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[13 Jul 2001|12:28pm]
Dear America,

This morning, I was awakened to my wife dancing to this song on the radio. It was a rather odd beat and some lady saying over and over 'Get your freak on', I found myself tapping my feet to the music and getting all hot and sweaty. I love that song..

Uh uh uh get your freak on what get your freak on what get your freak on..

-George
7 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[06 Jul 2001|02:58pm]
Dear America,
Today being my birthday and all, I will try my best not to be an asshole if you try not to be mean to me. I only wince in pain at the thought of what my wife has to offer me this evening for my birthday. I wish Marilyn Monroe was still alive to sing Happy Birthday to me.. That is all.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
26 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[22 Jun 2001|06:43pm]
Dear America,
It was brought to my attention that yesterday was the first day of summer. Let the games begin!

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
9 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[15 Jun 2001|11:22am]
Dear America,

I apologize for the lack of updating this here journal but I have been quite the busy man. To make a long story short, I have found myself a lovely young intern. I finally got some ice cream after convincing a bodyguard of mine to hand over the 15 cents I needed to purchase a Firecracker popsicle. It tasted great. That is all for now. I will update later.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
6 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[28 May 2001|12:39pm]
Dear America,

I would like to make Memorial Day free ice cream day but the ice cream companies won't let me. Sorry, I tried. I really wanted one of those red, white, and blue popsicles but I didn't have enough money. You'd think they'd give it to me for free since I'm so damn cool. But no, the poor kids wouldn't give it to me. So I'm thinking about asking Dick to talk to congress about it. I'll keep you updated.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
12 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[19 May 2001|11:39pm]
Dear America,
I am quite satisfied with the amount of sex going on in this our country. Yay for babies!

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
11 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[17 May 2001|09:37pm]
Dear America,
I was in Minnesota today, made a few jokes, gave a few promises, and then chilled in my limo. I tell ya, that ride is tight! The wine is magnificant and Monica fits nicely into the storage box under the seat. I tell ya, being president kicks ass.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
5 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[14 May 2001|08:27pm]
Dear America,
Today I woke up next to my fat wife and she said to me "Good Morning Mr. President" and I thought to myself, 'holy shit, I'm the president of the United States, I'm sleeping on satin, next to a cow that takes up more room than I do.. and I just realized that I am the most unlucky man in the world!'
Oh to be the Governer of Texas again..

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
16 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[13 May 2001|05:07pm]
Dear America,
Today being Mother's Day and all, I would like to pay a tribute to the filthy prostitute that gave birth to a baby boy that would one day be your president, my mother. She was a dirty hoe, but my mother none the less. She raised me and fed me and even introduced me to the crack game. I love my mother, the disgusting whore.

Sincerely,
George W. Bush
4 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[10 May 2001|04:32pm]
Dear America,
Being the 43rd president in this land of the free, I have come to decide that cheese should be our national food. Now I am aware that in Houston where I grew up, all we ever ate was corncake and grits, but cheese is a very wonderful thing. Let's make today Cheese Day- wait.. I can't do that? Well fuck this. I'm gonna go eat some cheese now.


Sincerely,
George W. Bush
19 Black eyes|Take your best shot

[09 May 2001|09:43pm]
Dear America,
I am your president. This is my journal where I will input my inner most feelings about my job. Here's my first sentence: It sucks.
A little girl, I believe her name was Kaytie, she directed this here journal idea to me and asked that I create it so people across this land of the free can address me and ask me to use my edjumacation to answer their questions. Let me know you love me.


Sincerely,
George Dubya Bush
7 Black eyes|Take your best shot

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